Recently on « Wait, Is This a night out together? » we are joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and
L Keyword
specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is right! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity â connecting with buddies’ exes, friends starting up with these exes, and the tradition produced by all of that crisis.
Arrive for any gossip, remain for the emotional running. And before that enjoy a-game that examinations Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)
Thank you so much for all the great feedback after our very own premiere! When you haven’t yet start thinking about providing us with a rating or test!
SHOW NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all of the my personal interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference in which We mention hooking up using my roommates.
+ My personal crush in the week Mj Rodriguez released a songs video clip on her behalf tune
« Something to Say »
!
+ As someone who has merely seen a small number of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush with the week C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking to me with regards to ended up she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they fundamentally however tend to be.)
Drew:
I’d end up being extremely great with-it existing. I would personally never add somebody else without their particular permission. Nevertheless the idea of everytime someone ended up being like, « Confirm that you may be attached to myself, » I would resemble, « Yeah, it’s the life I resided. Really don’t care about. » Usually odd? Would be that difficulty?
Christina:
No, as if I wasn’t, I would personally feel bad not being. I would personally wind up as, « hold off, I’m not sleeping? »
Theme track performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And this is
Hold Off, So Is This A Date?
Christina:
Wait, Is This A Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. First, is it a night out together? Just what are dates? Who will be times? Will we like dates? These represent the kind of concerns that individuals answer with this here very professional and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m called Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer online. I am getting better at describing my self as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s us. That’s which we are.
Drew:
Yeah. And so our major subject recently could be the Chart.
Christina:
I recently believed it required a sting. I don’t know. That felt actually dramatic, but i believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, thanks. No, no, no. The suitable quantity of crisis.
Christina:
Thank you.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that expression since it feels like you should resume the lesbians. It sounds like the net connection isn’t working.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very advanced level, really futuristic, but additionally ‘s been around since there’s been lesbians, I think.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe students would state once they found the first lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of those carved in to the sand. And that I believe that’s exactly what that motion picture is focused on, correct? It is more about the chart? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and also the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it is more about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
was about cave women. I’d watch that lesbian film.
Christina:
Well, when I haven’t observed it, i’ll bravely claim that it had been. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we have many lesbian duration pieces, but we’ve never ever eliminated straight back that much. And I also think it’s the perfect time we perform.
Christina:
Why don’t we just keep using it more back in its history.
Drew:
Before we get to your major topic, you are still getting to know united states. And I also thought that it could be enjoyable to relax and play a-game where you men could actually learn Christina. Thus our very own icebreaker because of this week is actually only a little video game that I call « Would U-Haul. »
Christina:
Im, once more, so stressed about that. This could you need to be the way in which I come in to the online game. This might be my video game mentality, only a little high-key, just a little stressed. That is okay. We are all discovering.
Drew:
I do believe that’s great. I believe that will get you to more vulnerable, possibly.
Christina:
Certainly the best feelings.
Drew:
Merely a terror, merely a severe horror. So the way that « Would U-Haul » works is actually I’m going to describe a scenario. Let us call it Christina lover fiction. And I also’m going to pause after every small section is want, « Okay, Christina, I’m sure that you have never ever resided with somebody, do not want to live with a partner. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul? »
Christina:
And I also will both state yes or we’ll say, « i am ready. »
Drew:
Unless you â really, we will see here. But I’m thrilled. I think I perhaps cracked the signal.
Christina:
You damaged the code? I am thrilled.
Drew:
Let us find out how very long this requires. If in case there is a constant carry out, i believe you win? I am not sure how discover champions right here.
Christina:
I am not sure that there exists champions within the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I’m not sure any time you’ll go along with that following this. Therefore I’m going to get going.
Christina:
Reasonable adequate.
Drew:
Okay. Thus, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at the friend’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the multitude of romcoms you have consumed, you probably did not check-out this wedding thinking you had fulfill any individual because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is the genuine and normal life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your own assigned seat as they are glancing at your cellphone as soon as you recognize a female at your dining table wants at you. She introduces herself since your buddy’s former babysitter. She’s remained a friend in the family, but she does not really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and contains a striking angular face. You set about talking. She offers to produce a glass or two. And when she compares, you understand she actually is six foot high, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So you understand what? I am only probably hold on there and become want, at this stage, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am fascinated. I’m captivated because i would get laid only at that marriage. But up until now I am not U-Hauling everywhere.
Drew:
Cool. Which is totally reasonable. Completely fair. Okay. Which means you spend the entire marriage getting to know each other. Absolutely simply an instantaneous spark and instant biochemistry. And yes, you are doing get together additionally the gender is remarkable.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And so this wedding ceremony was at Northern Ca. Which means you both increase the stays for a few days to shag and check out and consume at restaurants and bang. And you provide to separate the expense of the now joint space, but she laughs you down and is also want, « Obviously maybe not, honey. » Therefore, the after that 3 days are secret. You think your own walls tumbling straight down. You are dropping faster than you ever before have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus only for clarity’s benefit, i am having a hard time picturing a global in which we took three shock times off try to go out with an individual i actually do maybe not know. That looks bonkers. However if used to do, good-for me. But I’m simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is okay. You merely came across. I have it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you such.
Drew:
So she returns to ny and also you come back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That’s where We stay.
Drew:
And you’re texting everyday. That’s where you are living and it’s really where this lady life. And you are texting continuously and you also see one another multiple times four weeks. She is extremely active together with her task, but she actually is rapid buying you a train violation to come see the girl and stay at the woman gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. And six months pass. And another evening when you are over to meal, she requires you to definitely relocate together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And go on to New York? I really don’t love New York. No, I’m not transferring on six months level. I am not undertaking that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, totally, completely. Wow. Okay. So you hold internet dating long-distance. She realizes that you may need some time and she’s happy to wait a little for you. Even more several months move. It really is now been over annually. Your own property owner tells you they are offering your place to a developer who is putting in apartments, so you are unable to renew it. You ought to discover a spot. Your now girl informs you that no pressure, but her offer nevertheless stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, i’d U-Haul for 2 factors.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Largely, in a global by which my personal property manager ended up selling the house in order to develop it, my personal property owner is my personal best friend, with the intention that seems like some thing moved incorrect inside our friendship. And I might want to just leave Philadelphia in any event. Whenever I get to move in with my girl over here, that appears good. That’s fine. Totally fine. But yeah, I think i may need an external power like a mean landlord.
Drew:
Which is very â fine. I did genuinely believe that might must need housing to have here, and so I’m happy I realized that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is just what actually needs to affect me personally very first.
Drew:
Well, I’m happy to understand what it takes. Therefore in theory, if you weren’t knocked out, just how much additional time?
Christina:
Truthfully, which could went on for a long period. Philly and New York aren’t even that not each other. I managed to get area over right here. We are jumping backwards and forwards. We’re having memories. I could have try to let that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst individual I know.
Drew:
I didn’t know that Shoshana owned home. Well, there you choose to go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thanks for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, to-be obvious.
Drew:
And I also’m pleased that i understand⦠Maybe if you are ever before, anytime anyone’s ever online dating you and desires you to move in, maybe the girl informed Shoshana to market our home in the interests of your own relationship.
Christina:
Genuinely the quickest way â some body would only have to communicate with Shoshana and start to become similar, « simply kick her down. » Right after which she’d end up like, « Yeah, sure. Obviously. » That could be how it happened, whether or not she don’t promote the house. Someone would just be like, « are you able to just stop their out therefore she’s going to merely get over it and move around in beside me? » And she’d say yes. Double she would do this. That’s what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I like that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s really breathtaking.
Drew:
Well, i’m like we discovered a whole lot in regards to you.
Christina:
Cheers. Personally I think like I discovered alot about me, also. Danger of homelessness is really the thing that keeps me personally transferring any situation, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s fantastic.
Christina:
That was really exciting. I am just as happy to maneuver into our primary segment because I think speaking about lesbian connection with this specific visitor, with this unique visitor, i believe it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. Exactly how are you currently feeling?
Drew:
I’m thus thrilled. This is exactly an expert. And by that, I mean an
L Word
specialist, but additionally a small amount of specialized into the topic accessible.
Christina:
In my opinion two things is generally true, my pal. I think two things is generally true indeed. Will we need present our guest or do we desire all of our visitor to introduce on their own?
Drew:
I would personally love our very own guest to introduce herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will point out that all of our guest will be the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. And is odd becoming the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, it really is.
Riese:
I experienced not to state such a thing. I did not also take action. I did state circumstances. I had to sit right here silently.
Christina:
And you also were really courageous. Along with your faces had been appreciated.
Riese:
Thank-you a great deal.
Christina:
Though this is exactly obviously an audio medium, Needs all of our listeners to know that Riese was creating some great impulse confronts during « Would U-Haul. »
Riese:
There is different ways are heard. You know what What i’m saying is? That’s what i state. I am the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball staff. That is certainly myself. I’ve a puppy named Carol. And that I have dated people.
Christina:
Congrats from the kickball!
Riese:
Thank you so much. I am involved in folks.
Christina:
Great. Loving that. Which is great to create to this, this right here internet dating podcast. That’s good.
Riese:
Yeah. I do believe that⦠Could There Be anything?
Drew:
No, i believe that’s fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you decide and wish to share.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You Realize when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like as soon as you strike. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are terrible, therefore I just evacuated all of them from my personal head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, I instantly looked at you for this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because to begin with, certainly, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian community have been like, I don’t know, having sex with others who people they know experienced intercourse with since a long time before
The L Term
ended up being ever before a string. But i actually do feel just like
The L Word
solidified a specific social concept of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you’d have most understanding of this topic.
Riese:
It is true. Two of the article authors, i wish to state, of
The L Term
had this actual information of those as well as their pals these people were attracting from the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one of these. She talked to united states about any of it, which they had developed this. Because clearly, everybody else in this journalist’s area had banged other individuals from inside the copywriter â you know, together with prolonged web of that generation of lesbians in L. A.. And so they saw can they were like, « let us place it inside tv series. » Many ones take the chart. Like, some of the people whom ⦠like, genuine people are on data as a joke.
Christina:
Which is amazing. Which is the method that you learn you have made it.
Riese:
Actually that pretty?
Christina:
That would be exciting for my situation.
Riese:
And so for those who haven’t observed
The L Term,
first of all, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of a single in our lead personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got almost everything over the woman wall structure. And in addition it is the title of an internet site they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. And the idea ⦠and it’s really from inside the pilot, In my opinion. For the first event, Alice begins dealing with just how every person’s connected, because everyone’s connected with this specific person. And I can hook up you, as if you’re probably no more than two degrees far from myself. Which was genuine. Like, even with Dana, that has very restricted knowledge because she had been a closeted football player, they however could link their. And that is actuality because it’s real.
Christina:
Which is tradition. Yeah. That is what culture seems like.
Riese:
That is tradition. Which is queer society immediately. Nowadays everybody can make unique charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So was going to be my after that question, had been have either of you made a chart? Because I don’t believe You will find, I am also sorts of now considering like, the thing that was this a year ago sitting within my home for basically did not create a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, really?
Riese:
I believe I accomplished it in my record, in the same way like ⦠Because i prefer, I am not sure, planning details, i suppose, as a thought physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that’s in addition precisely why I am amazed that You will findn’t done it. I really like the concept of categorizing things.
Riese:
Correct. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I am not sure the reason why it really is therefore interesting, but it is. It really is fascinating as similar, wow, many of these men and women, they are linked. It’s untamed.
Drew:
On tv show, once ourchart.com is actually developed, they usually have a real information that people can also add things. And I also feel like something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Straight Back,
and now folks state everyday is much like, if this existed in a genuine method, not one person would place their unique names upon it, no-one would feel at ease placing their brands about it.
Riese:
You’d.
Drew:
I’d. I might be very great with it existing. I would never ever include somebody else without their particular permission. Although concept of love, everytime someone was actually like, « Confirm that you are connected to me, » I’d be like, « Yeah, it’s the existence I stayed. I don’t care about. » Is the fact that unusual? Would be that difficulty?
Christina:
No, since if I becamen’t, i’d feel bad not being ⦠i might end up like, « hold off, I am not on it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what? » No, that would in fact deliver me personally into lighting moral panic about just who I am as you, everything I’m performing. Have always been we interesting? Perform men and women {like
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